Kick-Ass: Lodging A Foot In Your Booty

In the words of the late, great Mark Twain: “Hello.”  I have returned from a relaxing evening of the finest in foreign cinema & once again decided to forcibly rub my opinion in everybody’s face as though it really matters.  Ladies & gentlemen, welcome to:

Kick-Ass: The Review

Kick-Ass

Executive Summary: This movie is so good it almost makes up for Wanted.

Review: Ordinarily when I review a movie I leave any bad things until the end.  This time however I’m going to say them now but only so I can get them out of the way because they are so incredibly obvious.  I have heard about people walking out of this movie because it is so vulgar so I’m going to put this as simply as possible.

IT INVOLVES A 12 YEAR OLD GIRL KILLING PEOPLE IN VIOLENT WAYS WHILE DROPPING THE ‘C’ BOMB!!!!!!

Ok, now I know that may have seemed a tad excessive but now you can’t say you didn’t know.  I guess I should have said “Spoiler Alert”.  If you’re going to walk out because the ‘C’ word offends you that’s fine but don’t complain about how shocked you are.  It’s a movie, which means it plays out the same way every time, so in every screening (including the one you see) that sweet, innocent little 12 year old is going to say that word.  If you don’t like it then don’t see it.  It doesn’t matter if you walk out or not.  Your ticket is still worth the same to the producers & investors as the guy next to you so why support it?  If you’re thinking to yourself “maybe it’s not as bad as everybody is making out” then just let me say:

IT’S AS BAD AS EVERYBODY IS MAKING OUT!!!!!!

There is just no two ways about it; this is an offensive movie & people are going to get offended.  Some people might be upset that I am about to praise such a controversial movie so highly (& believe me I’m going to praise it) but I’ve always believed that in a world where liberty itself seems to face persecution we should not only accept being offended from time to time but demand it.  How else do you know you’re living in a free country?

Right.  Now the good stuff.  THIS MOVIE IS AWESOME!!!  First I guess I should explain my so called “Executive Summary”.  Kick-Ass, as you may or may not know, is based on a comic by one of my all time favourite comic writers; Mark Millar.  One of his finest works is the mini series Wanted.  This was later made into a movie starring Angelina Jolie & James McAvoy.  The movie stank.  Maybe if I wasn’t such a die hard fan I would have enjoyed it because everybody tells me it was a good movie but I just plain hated it.  They diverted so far from the original story (in directions that were never an improvement) that you wouldn’t even call it an adaptation.  You would just call it a mistake.  Look at the best comic book movies of all time.  Batman, Iron Man, 300, Sin City & now Kick-Ass.  They all have one thing in common.  They stayed true to the original intent of the comic; They target the same audience.  This is one area that Kick-Ass excels.  InWanted they shied away from the really offensive stuff.  (Stuff too offensive for me to mention on a family friendly blog.)  While some may see that as noble, I just see it as lazy.  If the original story isn’t the one you want then write your own.  Stop trying to put a square peg in a mongoose’s nasal cavity.  It doesn’t fit.

Many people see vulgarity & violence as the last refuge of the talentless but this movie shows that true brilliance can shine through anything.  You just can’t deny that Matthew Vaughn has put together a very funny, sometimes touching, action hit, no matter how offended you are.  The jokes are hilarious, the fight scenes are fast & brutal &, when it needs to be, the emotion is beautiful.  All of the actors fit perfectly into their roles.  Yes, even the 12 year old with potty mouth.  Millar went out of his way to create a protagonist that is Jimmy Everyman times 10 to the power of Average Joe.  That is to say, he is nothing special & it works perfectly.  Mark Strong also plays a fantastic villain & while I don’t think the role is going to win him any Oscar awards, his portrayal of Frank D’Amico provides a strong platform for the really important characters to stand on while they wear spandex.

Needless to say I was not the only person in the cinema that enjoyed this movie.  The audience applauded several times throughout the screening & laughed constantly.  All of my friends that came with me had the time of their lives & the night was topped off with free Watermelon flavoured gum distributed upon leaving.  Mmmm… weird & unrelated to the movie we just saw but refreshing.

Who Should See It:
-Fans of the comic
-Fans of action comedies
-People in the mood for some light hearted mass murder
-Everyone!!

Who Shouldn’t See It:
-People who are easily offended
-People who are looking for a movie to take their grandmother to
-Computer generated elephants going through a growth spurt

Special Mention

I have to just give special mention to the funniest comment of the night.  Before the screening they had a small competition to give away some USB Flash Drives.  In short, they asked questions, people answered & won stuff.  The lady down the front asked “What is the name of the actor who plays Kick-Ass?” & while everyone was complaining about not being able to hear one lone voice piped up & said “Chuck Norris!”  It was greeted with applause.  Also, a big thank you to @REVIEWBRISBANE for the tickets.  If you don’t follow him on Twitter then start now.  If you don’t have a Twitter account sign up just so you can follow this guy.

Have you seen the movie?  Why not leave a comment & let everybody know about it.  Also, if you look up to the top right on the front page of this site you’ll see a ‘Sign Me Up’ button.  Why not give it a click & see what happens?

Unless there is a next time,
Goodbye forever.

Luke Venables
Chief Leopard Spot Eraser

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3 Responses to “Kick-Ass: Lodging A Foot In Your Booty”

  1. Paul Costello Says:

    I must see this movie….cant wait! your tastes in movies are the same as my own so i know how much its going to rock 🙂

  2. I gotta say that as one of Luke’s priveledged friends who accompanied him to the screeneing…. this movie was a breath of fresh air! If there’s one thing I love (besides really cool fight scenes) it is some obscure form of realism when dealing with bad guys. Don’t just threaten the bastards, take ’em out without warning! Yahoo! Finally a director who understands that the best form of defence is absolutely blood splashing brutal OFFENCE! Just take the buggers OUT in the most efficient and final way possible (the microwave scene is one very acceptable and hillarious exception)….. the look of dissappointment on Nicolas Cage’s face when his daughter says she wants a girly doll for her birthday is worth the price of admission! Can’t wait to OWN this movie.. thanks for the invite Luke.

  3. Paul Costello Says:

    Saw it last night with steve and it was amazing! loved it all and i agree with you completely!

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