Weird… Just Plain Weird

How’s it going ladies & gentlemen?  Well I hope.  I’m in a bit of a weird mood today.  Not sure why.  Perhaps it has something to do with the weird Police Office I spoke with.  Those of you who read my blog regularly will know I got robbed recently.  What you may not know is that they caught the criminal who made off with merchandise worth less than the shirt he probably wasn’t wearing & I found out a couple of things:

  1. He was riding a scooter.  Don’t ask me how they know this but I really wish I could have been there to see his face when he found out he had just struggled home on a scooter carrying armfuls of electronics that work less than my handyman since he fell off the room & landed in that coma &
  2. The rules which determine what a police officer can & can’t tell people about the person who broke into their cars is weird.  The conversation went a little something like this.

ME:  I think I’ll call the police station & find out how that criminal guy is getting on in court.  *Calls Police*
OFFICER:  AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!  Avast ye land lubber!!!!
ME:  Ermmm… hello.
OFFICER:  Ahoy matey.  State your name & business before I have ye keel hauled & made to eat me mother’s cooking.
ME:  Why are you speaking like a pirate.
OFFICER:  What?
ME:  The way your speaking… it makes you sound like a pirate.
PARROT IN BACKGROUND:  Sound like a pirate…  Sound like a pirate…
OFFICER:  Does it?
ME:  Errr… Yes.  Is it not supposed to?
OFFICER:  By Davey Jones it isn’t.
ME:  What are you supposed to sound like?
OFFICER:  A Frenchman.
ME:  A Frenchman?
OFFICER: Oui.
ME:  Fair enough.  My name is Luke, I’m calling about my car.  It got broken into a couple of weeks ago & I heard they caught the man & he went through court.
OFFICER:  Right ye be, that scallywag.  Hold ye horses while I transfer ye to me other phone.
ME:  *Wait*
OFFICER:  Now let me see.  Argh yes.  He still be going through children’s court.
ME:  Children’s Court?  So he’s a minor?
OFFICER:  I can’t tell ye that.
ME:  But you just said he was going through Children’s Court.
OFFICER:  Aye.
ME:   I’m assuming they don’t put adults through Children’s Court.
OFFICER:  They don’t no.
ME:  So I could take a guess?
OFFICER:  I don’t know ye well enough to know.

I said goodbye & hung up.  Perhaps I was confused by the French accent but the officer sounded almost offended that I would ask if the thief was a minor as though I had stumbled upon some dark secret.  You know that scene in all action movies where the good guy starts digging a little deeper than he should & the seemingly friendly but actually evil businessman says “I really think you let this go, Bruce Willis, before you end up dead like your friend.”?  Well it was like that.

So anyway, the point I’m trying to get across I’m trying to get across is that I’m feeling a little odd & perhaps that why I decided to post this:

Now you may notice this ad is a little different to some of the more common ones.  I have no idea what it’s about but I’m guessing it has something to do with chips & a demonic dog who can morph into the Bride of Chucky preening herself in the mirror before a night at the opera.

She crazy!!!

You've got to admit she's cute for a mass murderer.

I know there is a lot to choose from but I think probably the weirdest thing in the whole clip is this:

I don't get it.

WHAT?!?!

The dog is wearing pants?!?!   So let me get this straight… they put pants on Pervo the Wonder Dog when he is running on his hands but two seconds later it’s ok to have him do a dance consisting of moves which look like something a man wearing nothing but a trench coat might do in the back alley behind your local public toilet?  HOW DOES THIS SELL CHIPS?!?!  To make matters worse I watched another one of their ads.  It consists entirely of a girl hitting herself in the head with a potato!!  I give up.  I’m going home.

Unless there is ever a next time,
Goodbye forever.

Luke Venables
Alpha Centaurian Ice Skating Champion

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2 Responses to “Weird… Just Plain Weird”

  1. Awesome blog, first one i have read so far, firstly you had a weird, weird day, the police man needs to get a life and what the hell is with the Japanese??? messed up much, they have to many energy drinks, anyway say hi to your girlfriend for me and my family say hi!!!
    Miss you heaps and visit soon!!!

  2. Aaahhh – this is Irokusan the Japanese sage dog of romance and love. What you thought were pants were actually a representation of the the opressed peasant masses of the high country (hence the colour black) who have no access to potato chips, even though THEY are the ones that grow the potatoes…. this clip is very deep.
    Thank you for posting…

    Remember – as Confuscious say – “Tie two birds together – even though they have four wings – they can not fly”

    Sionara

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