Archive for Public Transport

Why Oh Why Do I Choose To Fly

Posted in Pointless, Rants with tags , on August 21, 2010 by darthtanion
Dear Interwebs,

Of recent times I’ve become dangerously aware of the fact that this blog has had an awful lot of reviews on it.  Don’t get me wrong, I love reviewing things.  It’s a chance for me to pretend others care about my opinion &, more importantly, pretend I care about anything.  The only problem with that is it means I haven’t had a good rant for some time now.  You know what I mean.  A good, old fashioned, I’m-bored-&-have-nothing-to-do-so-I-think-I’ll-complain-about-something-for-a-while rant.  They’re fun, they’re easy & they give me something to do while I’m sitting on my 90 minute flight to Sydney.  You will have to forgive me though.  I’m very tired & thus I will be easily distra… (hey look they have little TV’s in the roof.) …cted so this might take a while.

I can tell that the first question you are hoping I won’t answer is “Why are you going to Sydney, Luke?”  The short answer is: I forget.  (I could probably abbreviate it even further by just posting a picture of me flipping you the bird but that just seemed inappropriate.)  The long answer is: I forget, I think it’s a conference or the ballet or a small gathering of Semi-European males with ever-so-slightly-more-than-slightly effeminate hobbies but it’s not important.  I’m not here to rant about that, I’m here to rant how about how I got here this morning.

It’s just turned 7AM which means I’ve been up for three & one half hours.  That’s right, I got up at *mumble… mumble… mumble… carry the two… mumble…* 3:30AM!  This is not a ridiculous ask.  It’s a little crazy but it happens.  Allow me to take it from the top.  It was a dark & stormy night.  (Seriously, it rained last night.)  I got home from rehearsals (I use the plural because I had rehearsals for three different groups plus some private tuition.  To put it plainly, I was tired.) & started to prepare the one or two things… (holy crap they just showed footage of the Pamploma Running of the Giant Things With Horns… Ouch) …I needed for my overnight stay in Sydney.  Shirt, pants, varying selection of native American head dresses, etc.  One thing I made sure of was that I had checked in for my flight.  I looked at train times & according to Translink I would be there with an hour to spare provided I caught the 4:40AM train.  I shuddered a little at the thought but resigned myself to getting up at least one hour before what bogans affectionately refer to as the “butt-crack” of dawn.  (Hey look, it’s 17 degrees in Buenos Ares.)  I awoke on schedule, showered on schedule & left the house on schedule.  Transfered some money over to my spendings account & headed to the ATM to get cash out for the train.  It is at this juncture I would like to point out to the people who run my bank that ATM’s do not need sleep.  Just because it’s so early in the morning that even the sparrows are still staggering their way home from the previous night’s drunken escapades, I should still be able to withdraw money.  The first ATM told me that I didn’t have enough money.  (I checked on my phone.  The money was there.)  It then wouldn’t even give me a balance because “I’m sorry, I can’t do that.”  The next ATM was closed.  Not broken, CLOSED!  Fortunately the third ATM was just right & Goldilocks got her legal tender.  I then continued on to the train station.  My train never came, so I caught the next one.  A bit scary but not a real problem.  I was early anyway.  The next train decided it would be cool to stop at Roma St station for half an hour or so.  WHY?!?!  Did the train get tired?  Did it’s wheels get sore?  Was it the litle train that COULDN’T?!?!  I gave up asking these questions after several people ignored/called the authorities on me & then gave up on the whole train system all together.  By this stage I had started to panic.  Planes have a tendency to leave without you if you’re not there so this could turn very ugly.  It was time to go taxi.  I called any random taxi company that would answer, ordered a taxi then promptly ignored that booking for the first taxi that drove past.  My first question was how long will it take to get there.  Fortunately, he was pretty sure we would be there in time so I relaxed a little.  Once I did that the taxi ride was a wonderful experience.  Twice the cost but it was so easy & the driver was just chatty enough to keep me amused but not annoyed.  Now I know why they say “Once you go taxi you’ll never errr… ride the tracks… E… again… train tracks.”  Never mind.  I then had to sprint to the check in area to get my boarding pass printed where I got stuck behind two people who thought it would be a good idea to plan their holiday while they were standing at the counter.  It essentially reduced QANTAS to one open counter because they not only tied up the person who was serving them but also the supervisor who had to come over & help.  Fortunately, I got my boarding pass printed & sprinted for dear life to the gate.  I have discovered that airlines have the amazing ability to put every gate at the end of an amazingly long hallway.  You then have to walk down another long hallway after you go through the gate so what is the first long hallway even for?  (Excuse me one minute.  The plane is landing.)

Word's Largest Coat Hanger

Ooooh look it's the... you know what it is.

OK.  Back.  It’s now 9:47PM.  Sorry, I didn’t really get a chance to get back to you after we landed.  You’ll live.  (Excuse me.  I’ll be right back.)

OK.  Back.  It’s now just before 6AM on Saturday.  Sorry, I fell asleep.  We’re not really getting far with this so I probably should wrap it up.  Long story short, I made it to my plane & to Sydney but almost had a heart attack from fear I wouldn’t.  I must admit it has been quite lovely here.  I went to an awesome restaurant called Phillips Foote where I was treated to a lovely, huge T-Bone steak like this:

Steak from Heaven

The bread was crusty, the steak was tender & the cook was kinda weird looking.

I selected it myself from their meat display then BBQ’d myself on their communal BBQ’s.  It’s freaking awesome.  Then I got treated to a hotel room view like this:

Mercure View

Should I spit out the window?

Which is hard to gripe about either.  All in all I guess this turned out to be a good trip so I still don’t actually have anything to complain… (did I just hear a kitten?) …about.  It sucks having an awesome life sometimes.  Oh well.  Now I just have to make it to the airport on time to get myself home.  *Insert scared face*

Unless there is a next time,
Goodbye forever.

Luke Venables
Master of Salad Ponies